Handmade Eggnog: Creates Arm Pain, Soothes Arm Pain

Let's say you're just not feeling the joy you need to properly celebrate a festive party.  It's the holiday season, and you need a slightly alcoholic milk product to help you reach that next level of cheer.  The store-bought stuff?  Gluey and tasting of artificial thickeners.  You need some true, homemade eggnog--that's been established.  Perhaps you prepared for this situation and made t...